“I think long-lasting, healthy relationships are more important than the idea of marriage. At the root of every successful marriage is a strong partnership.” -Carson Daly
A strong relationship is never a miracle. It takes constant effort of two people who care about each other. Love is like a tree that needs nurturing every single day, and without effort it can wither away.
These are a few things that happy couples do, which solidifies their bond:
1. Kiss Your Partner
According to Dr. Samantha Rodman, psychologist, kissing your partner the first thing in the morning and last thing at night can improve your bond. She says, “Far from being a meaningless habit, this ensures that you connect, even for just a moment, at least twice a day… it shows that you prioritize your relationship.”
2. Appreciate Your Partner
“Everyone needs compliments and they especially need them from their partner.” says Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology and certified sexologist. Slip in small compliments and heartfelt statements every day. This shows that you notice and find things to praise amidst your busy schedule. It can be as simple as “you look lovely today” or “this dish is delicious”.
3. The Art Of Arguing Correctly
“If partners don’t disagree now and then, they’re either not being honest or aren’t human” says Kurt Smith, therapist. Argument is natural if two people are in a close relationship. What most couples do is shut each other out, scream, use cuss words, insult or even become aggressive. This is never the right way to deal with disagreements. You should learn the art of arguing, whereby, two people must hear each other out and come to a conclusion together. Happy couples find a solution to their problems and promise to work on them.
4. Focus On The Positive
A study conducted by the Gottman Institute shows how happy couples know what to prioritize and what not. They do not dwell on the negativity for long and don’t exaggerate the flaws. Difference in opinion is natural but how you deal with it shows your maturity. You must appreciate the good and work on the bad. Everyone wants certain things in a relationship and it is important to be open about it. After a problem, put in that extra effort, go that extra mile and make your partner smile.
5. Display Of Affection
Public display of affection often freaks out children but it is a healthy sign. It means you are keeping the attraction intact and you are comfortable with each other. Marriage often puts off the spark because people get used to mundane routine. Spice things up and never be afraid to experiment. A kiss here and a hug there will make your love stronger.
6. Communication Is The Key
The extremely popular concept of the “soulmate” is essentially flawed. No one but you will ever know what you want. No one will read your mind and decipher your actions. You have to tell your partner what you like and what disgusts you. You need to make your voice heard. “Nothing comes out of nothing”, you have to be vocal or else you’ll suffer alone.
7. Reconnecting Requires Patience
We all have fast paced lives and tons of responsibilities on your shoulders. We have commitments and plans. The key to a healthy relationship is setting apart alone time. “Couples need to have a commitment to cultivating connection instead of hoping it just happens” says Celeste Hirschman, sex and relationship coach. Introduce a “no screen” time during meals or in the bedroom, go on dates or sit back and watch a movie. It is important to do things together.
8. Laughter Heals
Laughter is the best medicine no doubt, but don’t reserve it for your friend circle. The couples who laugh together, stay together. It can be an interesting anecdote, a pun or a lame joke, share it with your partner and make him or her smile. You can’t always discuss grave issues and drain out the happiness from your lives.
9. Open Discussion About Finance
“Fighting over money is one of the top reasons for divorce” says Kurt Smith. The thing is, most couples do not discuss finance openly unless there’s a catastrophe. They look over small issues until they snowball. You must hold your partner accountable for the expenses of the house and plan it before splurging. Make a list of the things that need immediate attention and things that can be done later.
10. Not A Battle
Psychologist Dr. Marie Land says “When people are struggling in relationships, it’s not unusual to feel that your partner is on a completely different team that you.” This notion has to go. You both belong together and it is not a battlefield. Your aim is to be happy together and not end up hurting each other. Friendship makes a happy marriage, so share everything before it blasts.